The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) from Netflix, a review.
I had heard through the grapevine that this film was pretty poor. And being a sucker for pain decided that it couldn't be that bad, considering that it is hard to make a slasher in this vein. I was to be surprised, and not in a good way. I have watched countless horror films over the years, it is one of my favourite genres, and there have been some terrible films in that number. There have been many great films in that collection, and some have been soft reboots of existing franchises. This is not counted among that number. I have no idea who came up with the idea to make this akin to the new Halloween films, but they missed the mark with the execution. This film is terrible on several levels, it could have been better if the writing had been better, and maybe they had seen other horror films where such premises have worked.
The film opens up with a retelling of the original. The story reflects real-life events in this world, binding this story as a continuation of those earlier events. Within the store, we see memorabilia of the killings within the first film, a picture of those killed by leather-face, and many newspaper cuttings. Of course, the main protagonist asks if this is real, if the killer was ever found, and what happened to the one that got away from the killer. We discover that she became a Texas Ranger and spent her entire life trying to hunt him down, but as she never saw his face, it was an impossible task. We are introduced to the rest of the group as they leave the store. Melody and her sister Lila are travelling with Dante and Ruth. They are travelling to the town of Harlow that they now own. They are here to gentrify the area and bring new life to Harlow. This is meant to show the characters as good people with grand ideas. Unfortunately, they are not written that way. Melody comes across as judgemental and opinionated, with little insight into other people. Lila isn't too bad, but she is played as the cliche teenager with damage from a harrowing event. Dante is the guy looking to create something new and innovative but is short-tempered and selfish. And poor Ruth doesn't have much time to flesh out her character. Upon reaching the town, we quickly move to the inciting incident. An incident that could have been completely avoided if these people weren't complete morons. The start of the incident begins with Dante spotting a flag, a Confederate flag. It looks ancient, tattered, and dirty, probably hung there for fifty years. Dante is angered by the sight of it, viewing it as a threat to the likelihood of a sale from the incoming investors. Of course, they rush into the house, Dante seeking to pull the flag down while Melody wanders the house aimlessly. The house is not empty. Melody bumps into the woman that lives there, old, frail, and confused about why people are in her home. Things quickly go wrong, the local sheriff turns up, and the old woman becomes sick. Her son comes to help her, and she is taken away in an ambulance, son in tow. Ruth volunteers to go with her, and Dante concentrates on the arriving investors. Inevitably, she dies before she can receive help, and the son turns violent. We, as viewers, know that he is Leatherface, and we are aware of what is about to happen.
Now the killings begin, and we have a sixty-year-old man breaking bones like he's the Rock. He breaks the deputy's arm like it is a stick. Then stabs him in the neck with the protruding bone. The driver gets shot in the neck, and they crash, predictably. Things only get worse from there for those in his path. The killings are boring and depend on the characters being stupid. They also seem to be cursed to be unable to pull a damn trigger when it counts. I counted half a dozen times this film could have ended sooner if people acted like people and not walking cliches. The subplot with the last survivor of the first film doesn't go anywhere, is a waste of time, and could have been left out and made no difference to the story. The film is hurt more by the fact none of these characters is likeable. I didn't root for them when the chips were down. In fact, I rooted for more than one to get killed. Leatherface was a more sympathetic character at times, minus the mass murder, of course. Lila has some redeeming features but hardly any real screen time, and we never flesh her out enough to be believable. The ending is predictable and rather dumb, in my opinion.
Overall, I would give this film a 3 out of 10. Avoid it if you can, but if you're curious, be aware that it will do little to entertain. There are better options out there, watching paint dry might just be one. Let me know if you have any recommendations for what to watch next. Until next time, folks.
