Barbarian, the movie review. A good film with a familiar premise, though a different play through than I expected. Also a different role than I had seen Justin Long in before.

 

Barbarian, a review.

    I was unsure what to make of this movie at first. It opens slowly, centring around Tess sitting in her car after pulling up to a house in the rain. She gets out and attempts to get the key out of the lockbox, only to find it is not there. The place looks empty, and she phones the company she had made the booking with, hurrying back to her car in the meantime. At this time, a light comes on in the house, and Tess rushes back to knock on the door. It is opened by a very tired-looking man with a confused expression. The two talk back and forth, and it is swiftly discovered that the booking company for the house has double-booked them. From there on, the pair work out a deal, Keith offering her the option to stay there and take the bedroom. Reluctantly, at first, Tess takes the deal. The pair soon begin talking, and the initial tension between them fades. Eventually, they retire for the night, and we get our first inkling that something isn't right at this house. Tess wakes up in the night to find her door open. She is obviously nervous, and moving across the room, finds Keith asleep on the sofa. As she moves to him quietly, we see something move behind her and a door close at the end of the corridor. This is the first sign of something suspicious going on in this building. Tess wakes Keith, and he is obviously startled. After questioning him, Tess returns to bed, and we flash forward to her waking in the morning.

    Both of them head off to their respective days. Tess head's to her interview, and we see her do well. So well that it looks as though she has the job in the bag. However, when she mentions where she is staying, her new employer seems surprised and unsettled by the information. This is another hint that something is odd about the house and the area. Tess returns to the house and begins looking around, ending up in the basement. She ends up being trapped inside after the door closes behind her. This leads to her investigating and discovering a secret door. A door that leads to another room, a room with a bed, a bucket, and a camera in it. Tess is obviously freaked out by this and returns to the basement proper, looking for a way out. Keith returns at this moment, looking for the key she was supposed to leave for him, and she manages to get his attention. Together, they open the basement window, and Tess passes the key to Keith. He comes to a panicked Tess, and after a few moments, he leaves to investigate this room. Tess waits and then calls to him, he doesn't answer, and she goes to look for him. He isn't in the room, and Tess looks about in confusion, finding yet another door. A door leads to stairs that lead down into darkness. She calls to Keith, and he shouts back, his voice distant and scared. Stumbling through the tunnels, she finds him hurt moments before a woman comes out of the dark and brutally murders him. Then the film flashes to our next protagonist. 

    Justin Long plays AJ. A Hollywood type enjoying his drive until he gets a phone call. And things are about to take a bad turn for him. And it turns out in the long run that he probably deserves everything that happens to him. I've always enjoyed Justin long, as an actor, but this character is one of the sleeziest that he has ever played. AJ is not a good person, but he believes that he is, to such a degree that he cannot see how he treats others.And it will be his downfall. After his new series drops him, and accusations are made against him, he has to liquidate his assets. It turns out that the house Tess and Keith were staying in is owned by AJ. This leads Aj to the house and what awaits him there within. He finds what Tess did before him, and like her he wanders into the dark below the house. Also like her things do not go well for him. 

    The tunnels below the house lead to roughly carved out room and worse. The woman is living in this space and treating her new guests like they are her babies. She even tries to feed them, until Aj freaks out, leaving Tess still trapped in her cage. Until she manages to free herself and the two of them attempt to flee the tunnels separately. We get a flash back to this space to another time, looking to be the 70's by the clothes and cars on display. A man leaves the house that Tess and AJ are below in the future, heading off in a car. We see him buy things for a new born and then stalk a woman, dressing up a gas man and lying to get into her house. After leaving a window unlocked he leaves and returns to the house, and then down to the basement. In the present Aj and Tess aren't doing so well but they manage to escape the house, helped by a homeless man. With Tess hurt they listen to the man's story of what happened to the area, and what led to this woman being born. Moments before she bursts into their place of safety and kills the old man. Fleeing the pair find themselves atop a water tower, where AJ throws Tess off the tower in an attempt to save himself. The woman jumps off the tower after her, managing to catch her though it looks as though she dies in the effort. Of course that isn't the case and Aj finds that out just before he meets a grizzly end. 

    This is a strange and intense film. It gets its hooks into you and doesn't let go. The performances are good, the 'creature' oddly sad and horrifying, and the overall story grim but interesting. I enjoyed it immensely and would recommend it to any fan of horror. I rate it 8 out of ten, and would watch again. 

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre from Netflix. A modernisation/soft reboot of the original films. A horror film that could have done with more time to bake and some stronger writing.

 

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) from Netflix, a review.

    I had heard through the grapevine that this film was pretty poor. And being a sucker for pain decided that it couldn't be that bad, considering that it is hard to make a slasher in this vein. I was to be surprised, and not in a good way. I have watched countless horror films over the years, it is one of my favourite genres, and there have been some terrible films in that number. There have been many great films in that collection, and some have been soft reboots of existing franchises. This is not counted among that number. I have no idea who came up with the idea to make this akin to the new Halloween films, but they missed the mark with the execution. This film is terrible on several levels, it could have been better if the writing had been better, and maybe they had seen other horror films where such premises have worked.

    The film opens up with a retelling of the original. The story reflects real-life events in this world, binding this story as a continuation of those earlier events. Within the store, we see memorabilia of the killings within the first film, a picture of those killed by leather-face, and many newspaper cuttings. Of course, the main protagonist asks if this is real, if the killer was ever found, and what happened to the one that got away from the killer. We discover that she became a Texas Ranger and spent her entire life trying to hunt him down, but as she never saw his face, it was an impossible task. We are introduced to the rest of the group as they leave the store. Melody and her sister Lila are travelling with Dante and Ruth. They are travelling to the town of Harlow that they now own. They are here to gentrify the area and bring new life to Harlow. This is meant to show the characters as good people with grand ideas. Unfortunately, they are not written that way. Melody comes across as judgemental and opinionated, with little insight into other people. Lila isn't too bad, but she is played as the cliche teenager with damage from a harrowing event. Dante is the guy looking to create something new and innovative but is short-tempered and selfish. And poor Ruth doesn't have much time to flesh out her character. Upon reaching the town, we quickly move to the inciting incident. An incident that could have been completely avoided if these people weren't complete morons. The start of the incident begins with Dante spotting a flag, a Confederate flag. It looks ancient, tattered, and dirty, probably hung there for fifty years. Dante is angered by the sight of it, viewing it as a threat to the likelihood of a sale from the incoming investors. Of course, they rush into the house, Dante seeking to pull the flag down while Melody wanders the house aimlessly. The house is not empty. Melody bumps into the woman that lives there, old, frail, and confused about why people are in her home. Things quickly go wrong, the local sheriff turns up, and the old woman becomes sick. Her son comes to help her, and she is taken away in an ambulance, son in tow. Ruth volunteers to go with her, and Dante concentrates on the arriving investors. Inevitably, she dies before she can receive help, and the son turns violent. We, as viewers, know that he is Leatherface, and we are aware of what is about to happen. 

    Now the killings begin, and we have a sixty-year-old man breaking bones like he's the Rock. He breaks the deputy's arm like it is a stick. Then stabs him in the neck with the protruding bone. The driver gets shot in the neck, and they crash, predictably. Things only get worse from there for those in his path. The killings are boring and depend on the characters being stupid. They also seem to be cursed to be unable to pull a damn trigger when it counts. I counted half a dozen times this film could have ended sooner if people acted like people and not walking cliches. The subplot with the last survivor of the first film doesn't go anywhere, is a waste of time, and could have been left out and made no difference to the story. The film is hurt more by the fact none of these characters is likeable. I didn't root for them when the chips were down. In fact, I rooted for more than one to get killed. Leatherface was a more sympathetic character at times, minus the mass murder, of course. Lila has some redeeming features but hardly any real screen time, and we never flesh her out enough to be believable. The ending is predictable and rather dumb, in my opinion.

    Overall, I would give this film a 3 out of 10. Avoid it if you can, but if you're curious, be aware that it will do little to entertain. There are better options out there, watching paint dry might just be one. Let me know if you have any recommendations for what to watch next. Until next time, folks.